KDee aka Mori | bisexual, she/her | gemini, INFP, meme enthusiast, intersectional feminist, semi-functioning disaster | avatar & header art are my first DND character and her wives, drawn by me
aren’t gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn’t maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I’m fine, I wasn’t planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I’m confident I can stay out of the gorilla’s way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it’s all over.
It’s not just about the physical danger either, it’s about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he’s actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute “chimpanzee” for “gorilla” in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i’m taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I’m not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
Basic rules for analysing fiction, an incomprehensive list jotted down in a hurry:
The protagonist isn’t always right
The protagonist isn’t always good
The protagonist isn’t always written to be relatable or likeable
The narrator isn’t always right
The narrator isn’t always good
The narrator isn’t always telling the truth
The narrator isn’t always the author
The protagonist’s moral compass, the narrator’s moral compass and the author’s moral compass are three entirely different things that only occasionally overlap
Pay attention to what characters do and not just what they say
Pay special attention when what the characters do is at odds with what they say
A lot of the time the curtains are blue for a reason. If they aren’t, you should read better books
One more:
12. The antagonist isn’t always telling the truth
So many times I have seen people apparently just … forget that it’s possible for fictional characters to be (a) mistaken or (b) lying, and say things like “we know this to be true because [character] said so here” (or, worse, “this fact is canon because [character] said it”).
The antagonist isn’t always telling the truth, the protagonist isn’t always telling the truth, the secondary and minor characters aren’t always telling the truth, the narrator may be telling the truth but if the narrator is also a character in the story then don’t count on it.
I’m a very messy person who tries VERY HARD to keep a clean home. It’s probably ADHD. Anyway, the best advice I ever saw about it was:
“Instead of changing your habits to keep clean, look at where the clutter is. Now put a bin under it.”
I tend to remove my socks at the computer and then there’s a mountain of socks on the floor? I put a small bin and now it looks tidy. There are piles of junk mail on the table near my front door because I can never bring them to the recycling bin? I put a smaller recycling bin there. Etc etc.
Another trick that helps me immensely are BOXES.
The bathroom sink is covered in small bottles and all sorts of products? I got small plastic crates and I put them over the toilet lid, one for my stuff, the other for my roomate’s. The linen closet is just piles of things that fall when you open the door? Baby I just got a bunch of baskets and I will separate them by function.
I have baskets and small boyxes for: my cleaning products; my bird’s toys and stuff; my workout accessories; my meds and daily skincare products; my tools; and pretty much all my art stuff.
It still takes some effort to keep everything in its place, but having everything in a box still looks tons better than having everything on the counter, and it’s so better for the mental health.
After YEARS of a perpetually messy room with clothes all over the floor… I cleared off two shelves of my bookshelves. Clothes go there if they aren’t ready for laundry yet.
One change, and my floors are clear. And because they’re clear, they’re easier to keep clean.
One of the principles of design is that you have to design things according to how human beings act, not how you think they ought to act. That goes for designing your own space as well: organize for the you that you are, not the you that you think you ought to become.
in the latest cyber-news: the internet archive has lost their case against 4 major publishing houses(verge article).they’re going to appeal, but this is still a bad outcome. the fate of the internet is currently hanging in the balance because 4 multibillionare publishing groups missed out on like $15 of combined revenue during the pandemic because of the archive’s online library service. it’s so fucking stupid.
for those who don’t know what the internet archive is, it’s a virtual library full of media. books, magazines, recordings, visuals, flash games, websites - a lot of these things either don’t exist anymore or cannot be found & bought. heard of the wayback machine? that’s part of the internet archive. it is the most important website to exist, and i don’t say that lightly. if the internet archive goes down, the cultural loss will be immeasurable.
so how can you help?
boycott the publishing companies involved in this. they’re absolute ghouls, frankly, and don’t deserve a penny. the companies involved are harpercollins (imprints), wiley (imprints), penguin random house llc (imprints), and hachette book group (imprints). make sure the websites are set to your location as it may differ worldwide.
learn to torrent. download a torrent client (i recommend transmission), a vpn (i recommend protonvpn - sign up and choose the area that’s closest to your continent/country), and hit up /r/piracy on reddit for websites. with torrenting, you can get (almost) any media you want for free in high quality, with add-ons such as subtitles, and with no risks of loss. i would also recommend getting into the habit of watching stuff online for free. the less you can pay to a giant corporation, the better.
get into the habit of downloading and archiving materials. find a TB external hard drive, ideally the higher the better. it’ll probably cost around $60 for 1TB and continue to go up, but they’re so so useful. if you can’t afford a drive, look for any GB harddrives or memory sticks you have lying around and just fill them up. videos, pdfs, magazines, songs, movies, games - anything you can rip and download and fit on there, do it, because nothing is permanent.
donate to the internet archive. this is the most important option on the list. the IA relies entirely on funding, and it’s going to need more to fight this case. whatever you can donate, do it. i promise it’s helpful.
life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water
put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you’ve diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me
“Uncle Benadryl’s one minute rice” one minute what? awake? left to live?
New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.
you’ve turned something beautiful and good into a pit of despair. you’ve fouled paradise beyond repair.
listen. There’s a whole mentality shift that needs to happen culture wide here, from the schools to the public infrastructure to pet ownership to the justice system
The proper response to your dog doing a natural behavior you dislike (digging/barking/protecting etc) it to give them an appropriate time and place to engage in that behavior
The proper response to skateboarders damaging infrastructure is to build more and better skate parks, or build skate elements into the public infrastructure on purpose.
The proper response to homeless people sleeping on park benches is to build them houses.
you see how there’s like, a commonality at play here?
The proper response to a disruption is to address the root of the disruption directly, not somehow attack the disruption itself -
you don’t invent a muffler by swinging a bat at the engine noise, you don’t relieve your hunger by punching yourself in the stomach, you don’t resolve public unrest by sending armed men to control them and you don’t prevent homeless people using bus shelters as a roof by removing the bus shelters.
a whole ass shift in a basic mindset, i’m tellin’ you. We need it.
our downstairs neighbor has a motion activated doorbell camera and recently made a snip on how we come home with takeout all the time and commented on our spending habits (its not btw. its people giving us leftovers and groceries)
so now that i know she watches the footage daily of the hallway we have to walk through to get to our room i make sure to deliberately stop in front of the camera and show her everything we get like a makeup/skincare influencer
today i went to a gardening ceremony for my deceased loved one to show support and won a porcelain chicken at bingo with 40 something old ladies
^ pov recreation you are my downstairs neighbor getting a load of my awesome fucking chicken
she saw it btw and said “um…. what was the chicken about” do you not appreciate her?
she stands very well her name is sweetling and she protects our sweet things
Reblogging this too for folks with anxiety like myself who feel bad when they say they’re too busy but they don’t have every second accounted for doing something so they feel almost like they’re lying. Self-care goes on your schedule too, lovelies.
yes!! normalize saying,
“that won’t be possible.”
this is an inarguable statement.
you deserve to have your time boundaries respected by others. self care first!
one of the cooler parts of growing up is realizing that you were being incessantly lied to throughout highschool and that fat gay people are not only capable of being desired, but are actively and often voraciously lusted after
reblog if you have voraciously lusted after fat people
ALT
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